


Coffee

by eyypuhreel



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28734729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyypuhreel/pseuds/eyypuhreel
Summary: "The taste of coffee was good while it lasted."
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Was still in the mood to write so asked for a word/phrase, an occupation, a genre and a pairing.
> 
> Thanks to Iya again for the prompt! :)

“You cannot be serious.”

“That’s not how you should address a customer.”

“Cut the crap, Jeonghan. What do you want?”

“You’re the only one I know in this part of town so I’ll let you figure that out.”

And then he sipped the coffee that he brewed and made a face. The audacity of the guy!

Yet, he found himself sitting on the seat opposite of him, removing his work apron – his “break” time bought by this particular “customer” who rented out the café for two hours. He stared at the piece of clothing hanging on the seat beside him; his tag pinned on it. His eyes shifted as it glistened against the light – barista written under his name. Barista – his second chance, his fresh start.

And yet the reason why he needed one was seated right in front of him, mocking him with every grimace at every sip of his work.

How.. fitting.

He gave up on is cup – a tall, and pushed it aside - discarded to allow him room to prop his elbows on the table and cradle his face in his hands. There was a satisfied smile on his face and Seungcheol restrained himself from punching the other – that and some other feeling he’s wished was never there when he saw him smile.. still.

“You didn’t really make it difficult for me to find you.” He started.

Seunhcheol scoffed.

“Bold of you to assume I wanted to be found.”

“You would have made it difficult otherwise.”

“And flatter you and give you the satisfaction? I don’t think so. I’m done playing your games, Jeonghan. This was me telling you I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

Jeonghan sighed and just tilted his head to the side. As if this was a simple matter – something of little consequence, wanting him out of his life.

“Oh Cheollie, you know I don’t really try and read between the lines.”

“Don’t call me that. You don’t have any right to anymore.”

“But we were doing so well?” Jeonghan lifted one brow in question, eyes filled with curiosity and.. regret? Seungcheol scolded himself, not allowing him any more delusions when it came to the man sitting in front of him. What was the point of starting anew if he’d fall for something he wasn’t even sure the other actually felt?

_Stop. This is what got you in this mess in the first place._

“If by doing so well, you meant me being set aside the moment I told you I love you to prefer someone who could give you what I could in the sheets without what I offered – then I guess you really don’t read between the lines.”

“I couldn’t commit then, you know that.”

“You could have. You just didn’t want to with me. You were capable of it before.”

“And look what happened when I did.”

“Yeah, you got your heart broken and never recovered. Trust me, I know how it feels.”

“That’s not fair. I’ve had my fair share of relationships – you one of them.”

“That was not a relationship Jeonghan. That was just sex.. to you.”

“A relationship still.”

“A non-committal, non-exclusive, detached relationship – sure. That’s just an arrangement.”

“An arrangement then, and ours was my favorite.”

Seungcheol hated to admit it, but that one word that left Jeonghan’s lips made his heart skip a beat.

_Ours._

It’s been a year, yet he still had this effect on him. How he fell in love with him when they were in such an arrangement was a mystery to him.

Or maybe it wasn't.

Because it solved itself during their postcoital bliss when he would snuggle into him – seeking his body heat regardless of the season, tucked under his arms and hair tickling his nose.

It solved itself when he’d find him in his apartment wearing one of his hoodies acting domestic, using boredom as an excuse to justify him doing chores or cooking him something barely edible.

It solved itself during late night conversations without passion emanating from the potent mix of body and sweat but with sincerity from the words they shared even beyond sleep. And when Jeonghan would whisper his name in his sleep and smile, it was like all his prayers were answered.

The mystery answered itself with everything he read in between. And maybe that was where it went wrong. Because he read between the lines from someone who didn’t know how to write them.

It was his own fault he fell for it. Using it as leverage to build up confidence and confess – his delusions blinding him of his feelings being returned. He read too much into it.

He never said it back. Seungcheol wondered if he just needed time to process or if- if he didn't feel the same way. His answer was in the form of passion emanating from the potent mix of body and sweat that wasn’t his.

“Why are you here, Jeonghan?”

“Would you allow me to say that I miss you?”

“You scouted me just because you missed me? Sorry to say that I find that hard to believe.”

“Well.. you are my favorite arrangement.”

“But not the only one?”

Silence. But the look Jeonghan gave him was insulting. _What do you expect?_ His eyes said. It hurt.

Seungcheol still read between the lines, a difficult habit to get rid of. 

“So you knew?”

“No, I found out the same day I told you I love you.”

“Still?”

“Not anymore.”

“Shame.” Jeonghan visibly recoiled, leaning back on his seat and wrapping his arms around him. He felt an impulse to pull his arms away from him and replace them with his own. But he berated himself pleading within him to stay true to his words.

Not in love with him anymore.

But did he not love him anymore? 

It still lingered. And he could, he knew - he could fall back in. And maybe Jeonghan did too.

_Stop._

To take him back.

_Stop._

To be his favorite arrangement again.

_Stop._

He knew that was the most Jeonghan could give. But the pride of wanting to be the reason he could go beyond that was so strong. That, and he wanted him to love him back.

He may be a favorite, but he was just an arrangement – an agreement. Not close enough to a relationship. And that was a guarantee he can't love him back.

“Shame.” He repeated and made to stand up, a signal to end things. But Jeonghan beat him to it. He grabbed his coat, tucked it over his arm.

“Your brew..,” he said. “It was good.”

Seungcheol stood up and stepped closer towards him.

_This close.. one last time._

“You’ve never liked coffee as much as I did, no need for empty compliments.” He said softly.

Jeonghan laughed.. dejectedly.

“True. But the taste.. The taste of coffee was good while it lasted.”

He allowed himself one last delusion of reading between the lines. He smiled, allowing regret to filter through it.

“Yeah.. I know.”

“Any chance of you wanting to see my beautiful face again?”

“No, Jeonghan. Please.”

“Okay. I hear you.”

Not a second longer, he turned away from him and walked out of the café and maybe out of his life forever.

This was what he needed.

Not what he wanted, but needed. Because he deserved to me more than a favorite arrangement. Seungcheol knew he deserved to be loved.

**

He should have been back at his apartment by now since the drive back to the city should have taken him only an hour on the freeway. But it’s been three hours and he was still parked a couple of streets from the café, still with a viable view of it.

He just sat there, watching Seungcheol go about his day.

Even when there was still a lot of time left from his rental of the place, Seungcheol stood diligently by the counter. He glanced at his watch from time to time until he could flip the closed sign back to open. Jeonghan's time was up.

He watched him take orders, smiling at customers when they ordered.. watched him clean the tables and bowed at all the customers who came in, still smiling.

He loved that gummy smile of his. And he allowed himself the pleasure of watching it from afar – deluding himself with the thought that he smiled better when it was for him and only him.

It’s been a year since Seungcheol told him he loved him.

And he would never know that on the same day, before things could escalate with whoever it was that he was occupied with – he stopped it. Because he called for him.. _"Seungcheol.."_ He cried his name. And realized what he was doing was wrong so he asked the guy to leave. He took the longest shower of his life that day, washing away his sins - burned by them for the first time.

He was left alone the rest of the day, allowing himself the chance to let it all sink in.

Jeonghan was in love with him.

And he realized it too late when he waited until a couple of days to reach out to him.

Because just like that, Seungcheol up and left. No word, no clue, no goodbye.

And when he asked the reception of his apartment building if he ever came by – that’s when he knew.

He knew he saw what he did wrong.

Still, he looked for him. Jeonghan looked really hard despite what he said to Seungcheol earlier. Because it wasn’t easy. But he found him eventually.

Jeonghan was never really good at reading between the lines, doesn't even try to.

He was so bad at it, and maybe even deluded. Because when he realized he was still madly in love with him even after a year of not seeing his beautiful face, he dropped everything and went to him.

His fear, his pride, and a copious amount of money.

But he did him wrong and he was too late.

It was well into the night and he still stayed in the same spot. He watched the love of his life lock up the café and waited at the bus stop just a couple of meters away. Jeonghan wanted to follow him, to know where he lived. But Seungcheol made it clear he didn’t want to see him anymore. He even said please.

He loved him so much, he couldn't say no. So when he was sure he rode the bus safely, he drove back to the city.

Back to his life without Seungcheol, a black velvet box pressed hidden inside his coat – pressed against his chest as a reminder of his loss and the bitter taste of coffee on his tongue.


End file.
